Applied Romance

Greene, in both “The Art of Seduction” and “The 48 Laws of Power,” explains seduction and power in terms of their outward manifestations. Greene’s method is similar to describing a diamond by it’s facets: One facet facing this way, the other that way, oh and by the way, there are many different ways to cut, all with their own faceting.

The problem with examining a diamond by individual facets is that it sheds little light on the actual structure of the diamond. In contrast, describing the properties of diamond by the definition of it’s crystalline structure allows mathematically _predicting_ an infinite range of sizes and shapes for a final gemstone.

A different way to understand both seduction and power is to understand the fundamental principles underlying both, which Greene does not adequately provide. With both power and seduction, the role of “inner game” fulfills the same role as the crystalline structure in a gemstone. Weak inner game results in — at best — a weak but flashy, cheap rock, easily available to anyone.

Note: I am a huge believer in outer game. I firmly believe outer game and inner game are coupled, and that it’s difficult, perhaps impossible, to evaluate the validity of inner game and core beliefs without outer game providing verifiable results. Strong inner game is one thing, delusional thinking is quite another: outer game provides appropriate feedback validating inner game.

Ineffability

So what does Greene (and many others) miss?

It’s an _ineffable_ thing.

It’s the kind of thing that if I have to explain, you aren’t (currently) capable of “getting it.” I know this sounds pretty rude, perhaps elitist, but it’s one of the most fundamental truths I know.

And I don’t think Greene “gets it.”

In fact, I think if he did “get it,” I don’t think he would have been able to write either book as he did, nor would either book be very good.

My observations are not meant to be criticism. Both “The Art of Seduction” and “The 48 Laws of Power” are extraordinarily good books indeed, and both are worth careful reading.

An Alchemical Analogy

Consider Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist.” This book is controversial in his nation of Brazil, considered too simplistic and derivative, with enough material borrowed from other sources to induce accusations of plagiarism. But the book has emotionally moved millions of people worldwide. And the sources he allegedly plagiarizes, who has heard of them? In short, what Coelho is trying to communicate is an essential ineffability which is impossible to communicate using words. It must be communicated emotionally, where words are at best a weak bridge, but more often an impediment.

From personal experience, so it goes with seduction.

A man without experience and emotional self-awareness is simply _incapable_ of understanding the ineffability of seduction. Understand that both the essential essence of seduction cannot, by definition, be translated into words, yet this ineffability can be completely understood in it’s personal manifestation. Only the infinitely varied forms of seduction may be described, after the fact. Confusing the description with the seduction is a extremely common error, along the same lines as confusing the map with the territory.

Power is a discussion for another day.

So, what, then?

The obvious question for the reader unversed in the ineffable: “How do I get there from here?”

The obvious answer is “Go forth and experience.”

The details are where it gets interesting.

In a future post I’ll outline a structure for building experience using positive reinforcement and the concept of “reframing” from Cognitive Behavior Therapy.