Date responsibly
I subscribe to a fair number of seduction newsletters, some of which I occasionally read. One morning’s newsletter from Grant Adams of “Net2Bed” opens with an email from a woman describing how she got “played” by a guy using Grant’s material. She concludes with the observation that as much as it stung her personally, most guys were pretty good guys overall, and learning Grant’s material would do them a world of good. Grant closes with an appeal to “date responsibly.”
What does it mean to date responsibly?
Be authentic
Most importantly: be open to the man you really are. If you’re a slimy, shiftless scumbag, dude, there are chicks out there for you! Just be open to it, be authentic! Conversely, if you’re a pretty decent guy, no need to pose like a tough guy. There are chicks out there way tougher than you, and they will puncture your pose like a cheap condom.
Being authentic means aligning your internal perception of yourself with how people perceive you externally. This is easier said than done, because it’s hard to see ourselves as other people see us. One way to achieve this congruency is to hold a clear vision of who you think you are, and act accordingly. For example, if you style yourself after Hef, it would be a good idea to be an outgoing kind of guy who entertains regularly and manages at least some sort of harem.
Leave them better than you found them
Once a man develops some skill women, that is, once he learns to be attractive and form intimate emotional connections with women, he finds that “getting laid” isn’t the issue. The issue is what to do with all the women that want to be in his life. There is a creed in the seduction community attributed to Ross Jeffries: “Leave them better than you found them.” I could write a book on this theme, it’s that important.
Posts
“Punctured like a cheap condom”
Lol, I like that one, good post. Thanks
Harold, I keep catching your comments in my spam filter, not sure why.
I grew up dating strictly within my ethnic group (Asian) and struggled with the idea that women other races would find me attractive. Of course this wasn’t true, but it was the belief I held in my head for years while growing up.
It became part self-fulfilling prophecy and part unrealizing (of my own) potential. Obviously if we believe in something enough, we’ll have some part in making it come true. And realizing my own potential with women was the personal growth that help break my self-prophecies for dating outside my race.
Almost anything can be preceived as a setback in dating, not just race. It can be a physical attribute, one’s past or (mis)perceptions about women (oh women just want men 6′ or taller).
The long and short of it is to be ourselves after realizing our potential. Much of the work lies in knowing our own tendencies, strengths and weakenesses - then embracing them. It’s okay to be all of those things and not have to hide from them. It’s like politicians and the media - it’s often not about what happens but what the reaction is: why did Clinton get cleared of his multiple sex scandals while Spitzer didn’t?